The Comebacks

Turn on the radio this summer and you’ll hear New Kids on the Block and Cyndi Lauper with new songs (and new CDs!). That’s right, musical artists from the 80’s are making a comeback, but will they succeed as they did before? What happened to ending on a high note (pun intended)?

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s 2008 now, right? That means these bands haven’t been performing since the late 80’s: Cyndi Lauper had her first hit in 1983 and New Kids on the Block hit their big time in 1988.

Who decided that reuniting bands from that era and having them perform now with new material will be just as wildly successful as before? That’s like deciding that the boom box is going to make a return and be just as popular. Our culture has changed tremendously since the 1980’s, and I wonder if these stars can make music for today’s predominant audience.

Is the American entertainment industry interested in a pop idol who is 54 (Cyndi Lauper)? Or a boy band who’s average age is 38 (Donny Wahlberg is 38, Danny Wood is 39, Joey McIntyre is 36, Jordan Knight is 38 and Jonathan Knight is 39)?

According to www.wikipedia.org, New Kids on the Block performed on The Today Show on May 16, 2008, and the performance attracted one of the biggest crowds, some 4,000 people, in the show's concert series history.

Cyndi Lauper’s release of her new song, “Same ol’ Story” was the number one downloaded song on the day of its release.

Maybe I’m wrong and their success will top what they had previously, however, looking at statistics from preceding bands who have tried to return, it may be short lived.

Numerous other bands have tried to make a comeback, but after their first released single, they weren’t successful either. Are Cyndi and the New Kids on the Block’s recent popularity a passing fancy?

The Backstreet Boys reunited in 2004, and their first CD out after their four year hiatus had only one song that made it to the charts in the US, “Incomplete.” Their newest CD, sans Kevin Richardson, Unbreakable, dropped out of the charts two weeks after its release.

Does this mean New Kids on the Block and Cyndi Lauper are in style just this month? Probably. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if these bands can really make a comeback.

From the archives: The Two Sides

This is from a column I wrote in my fifth-year of college.


We have been told there are always two sides to every story, but what no one tells you is that even if you know both sides, you never will know the entire story.

Relationships are a classic example.

The beginning of a relationship is great. Both people get along and have manners, and there is no drama.

No drama, that is, for a month or so, until someone says something the other takes out of context, and the inevitable first fight begins. You can communicate, but two people never hear the same conversation, especially when they both already know what they want to hear. We've all had it happen and had the chance to look back, talk with the other person and realize the way you interpreted certain comments wasn't the way they were meant.


Sometimes, however, the talk about the miscommunication never happens, and everything falls apart.For example, let's look at Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. When they first ended their marriage, it seemed Lachey had plenty to say about what happened and how horrible Simpson made him feel. Many fans took sides.

A little later, Jessica started to say what she thought happened, and her side seemed just as sad. It made everyone think again. Who was in the wrong?

I'm sure their friends were taking sides. However, how can anyone take sides when no one really knows what happened? Jessica and Nick themselves might not know exactly what happened. One of them could have said something that was taken completely out of context by the other. The only way to figure out what happened would to have been a fly on the wall during their entire relationship. Only then could things be figured out.

But what about couples on campus? When they break up, someone always says, "Oh it was her fault," or "It was his fault. He did this; she said that." Usually, in a relationship, both parties blame each other, and then friends choose sides based on what one of the people formerly in the relationship said. But what about the other side?

Even if the other person has a chance to say what he or she thinks happened, no one ever really will know, because people see what they want, and once sides are chosen, it's hard to get people to switch.

How can we, as friends, decide to be mad or not speak to one person in a relationship and blame the end of it on the other when it's impossible to know precisely what happened?

Things always can be sugar-coated, or seen differently, because people never think - or want to think - it's their fault. But in a relationship - ended or not - no one can be to blame. It didn't work, even if you wanted it to more than anything. The two weren't the same person. They didn't think the same, and they probably didn't know the other's entire history, those things that make people do quirky things. Yes, they loved each other, but they saw things differently.

I do know that when a relationship ends, both people still love the person they thought they knew. But with enough time, they are able to forgive their ex for things they thought were done maliciously. Things that, in fact, were not done with evil intent. So who is right? No one.

For the most part, there can be no Team Jessica and no Team Nick, because we don't know their history and never will. Even with our closest friends and their relationships, we'll never know exactly what happened, even after hearing both sides of the story.

Just remember: there are always two sides to a story, and no one, including those involved, will ever understand exactly what happened. If you take nothing else from this column, remember this: no one can be blamed in a relationship. There are no sides. It's life, and we're still learning about and from each other.

The secret agent

In stealth mode, the secret agent and protector of all humans slowly snuck up to the dangerous blue monster of terror through a field of white. This blue monster had been wreaking havoc on one particular human female and this secret agent was determined that this did not happen again. The blue monster had struck the day before, making its victim lay down and sleep; and produced a horrible noise, almost like a train horn.

This secret agent knew it was only him who could help the world survive.

Quietly, he crept behind the tall, wooden ledge where the blue monster stood guard. The secret agent climbed at a slow pace up the wooden plateau and then POUNCED! The blue monster started fighting back, but the secret agent managed to hold the blue box steady, ripping and shredding it to pieces. The secret agent, although not new at this, was surprised when the blue monster tried to fight back again, but the secret agent would not give up. He was the protector of all humans and this blue monster must die!

He threw the monster to one corner of the white expanse, holding a part of the blue monster while the rest of his body went in a different direction. The blue monster was incredibly hurt, but still alive. The secret agent ran to the blue monster to finish his mission. He shredded and ripped and ultimately killed the blue monster, flinging his body parts to the far reaches of the universe to save the human race –

“Rambo! No!” The human female yelled at her dog, who was surrounded by blue Kleenex. She had come home early because her cold was still making her sneeze and feel tired and had caught Rambo, her black, one-year old Chihuahua, red-handed, shredding an entire box of Kleenex, covering her living room and coffee table.

As Rambo ran for cover under the couch, he couldn’t help but think that it was a good thing his human had come so late, otherwise, the secret agent couldn’t have completed his mission and saved the world….

I'm Yours!

If you know me at all, you know that music is a huge, gigantic part of me. I listen to everything from Britney to Flyleaf to Bob Dylan to Sublime. Frequently, I find a song that is not well known, but so good that I feel like everyone should hear it.

I discovered this song on VH1, one of my personal favorite Web sites. It reminded me of what it means to be in a relationship (I haven’t been in one for more than a year and a half). It also struck a cord with me since at the beginning of the song he’s been trying to not have these feelings, but he couldn’t help it.

I feel like this is when the you-are-the-one-love really hits you. It makes me happy and hopeful that there is such a thing. I realize that I found this song a bit late, and probably should have posted it on Valentine’s day, but doesn’t it seem to mean more when you get flowers on any OTHER day than V-Day?

Since we’ve been little we’ve been conditioned to think that the once-in-a-lifetime-love does, and will, happen. I’m not sure whether it does or not, or if it actually lasts, but, this song made me think of who I want to be with. If you’ve ever seen the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” you know the part where Harry realizes he wants to be with Sally. He says, “Once you figure out who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want to start right then!”

This makes sense. If this happens rarely, let’s start now. I’m yours!

I’m Yours
Jason Mraz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QedgzsjouXU


Well you done done me

and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks

and now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out

I'll be giving it my bestest

Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love

Listen to the music of the moment

maybe sing with mei love peaceful melody

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

Chorus: So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

My breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I'ma saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do

Our name is our virtue

Chorus

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours

Once upon a time...

…there was a beautiful, talented, wholesome girl. We’ll call her Rhoda. * Rhoda was a girl who was frequently asked out by boys, and on good days, men; however, Rhoda was never truly interested in the people from this species who chose to ask her out. Instead, she kept waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet, or, as she put it, “be lucky enough to have me be somewhat interested…oh, and carry a bottle of wine at all times.”

When Rhoda wasn’t being asked on dates, she kept a very busy schedule with friends, Maggie*, Amanda* and work. She was an incredibly sought after marketing executive who had recently spun off from her former boss’s company to create her own, Rhoda’s Awesome Marketing.

Rhoda’s Awesome Marketing came about after she had an elicit affair with her boss of one year, Dave,* and soon found out he was balding and quite a bit older than she had originally thought. Overall, their relationship had been a good one for that week, but she eventually figured out that she deserved better.

Her marketing firm was doing fantastic business and was recently the front-page article detailing her new business invention, Being Nice, for Fortune magazine. It was a huge hit and helped many companies to be more adept at their business. Because of the publicity of this article, even Microsoft contacted Rhoda directly and asked for her help as a consultant in the marketing department.

Of course, Rhoda agreed – how could she not consider making $1 million for a short-term contract? – and called up her friend Maggie, the only Project Team Assistant who had worked her way up in the consulting firm Vain & Company to manager.

When Rhoda called asking her for consulting help, Maggie quickly obliged and sent one of her most accomplished consultants to be by Rhoda’s side.

Josh Tugudtobtru,* who had his undergrad from Harvard and MBA from Stanford, quickly became one of Rhoda’s greatest side kicks. Rhoda and Josh became instant friends and told each other everything, except Josh had a secret that he didn’t dare share with Rhoda.

He had seen her stunning picture on the cover of Fortune magazine and had been crazy about her since, and only a month after beginning working with Rhoda was soon deep in love with the marketing temptress.

Maggie had not known of Josh’s admiration of her good friend and had been on the prowl looking for a perfect guy for Rhoda. She had been scouring every place she could think to find Rhoda’s perfect man, the pizza place, the wine store, every happy hour in town and even Rhoda’s firm, but she found none good enough for Rhoda; until one day when a co-worker of Maggie’s set up camp at the computer behind hers to work on a program. His name was John Hotforeigner,* from England. Maggie had spoken with him a few times before, at Vain sponsored parties, and one of the interns thought he was interested in Maggie, but Maggie dismissed this assumption. In her mind, he was already dating Rhoda.

He was handsome, a gentleman, had a great job and knew three different languages fluently. Not to mention he was tall and from England. Oh, and he also had a good personality.

Maggie decided to introduce him to Rhoda at one of their Italian club meetings. She spoke with John throughout that Wednesday and eventually persuaded him to come to the ICTD meeting by informing him of a great business contact he could meet, James Gandolfini, the meeting coordinator.

That evening, Rhoda and John met, ate pasta and chatted about their careers and hobbies. Maggie was pleased to see that they got along well, but was surprised when Rhoda later said that she wasn’t that interested in John and he seemed interested in Maggie. Being that this was the second time that she had now heard he might be interested in her, Maggie thought this was ridiculous, but decided to really look into it.

In the meantime, Rhoda and Josh continued to work together, however Josh was beginning to feel that he needed to kiss Rhoda, touch her or do anything just to be near her. Pretending his feelings weren’t real wasn’t working anymore - he could barely contain himself!

Finally, one evening, when Rhoda and Josh were working late, Josh suggested getting a bottle of wine to share for a break since they’d been working almost 12 hours straight. Rhoda agreed and the two sat in the middle of the firm sipping wine together and working on the presentation for the next day.

A few glasses of wine and 20 excel spreadsheets later; Josh could help himself no longer. Without thinking he reached over, grasped Rhoda’s arm with his right hand, brought his face closer to hers and kissed her.

At first Rhoda resisted, but then she slowly gave in as the magic of his kiss touched her. Then, Josh let go, astounded at what he had done, but more surprised at how incredible it was to kiss her.

This started the beginning of a beautiful relationship and soon, marriage. During Rhoda’s marriage ceremony, she said in her speech that without Maggie, she never would have found Josh.

And what about Maggie and John? Well, Maggie finally realized that John spoke mostly to her and he had asked her out on two dates already but she hadn’t noticed that’s what he had intended. The two began to date frequently and had a good relationship for a month before Maggie got bored and moved on to someone else at her work, Richard Finallybrkeupwhisgirlfriend.*

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The weight game

More and more lately, I've been hearing about every woman’s fight with her looks. Although this isn’t a new subject, I have been bombarded with information surrounding weight and plastic surgery more so than usual.

In our American culture today, a large part is about weight and body image. When women get together, a majority of the time, at least one says something about how they are dissatisfied with their body image. Appalachian State University calls this “fat talk,” and it requires the conversers to say something negative about their body, too. In fact, women in the conversation are looked down upon if they don’t say anything negative about themselves.

Consequently, one in five young women now take diet pills. The University of Minnesota conducted a study of 2500 teens and found that 63 percent of teenage girls are engaging in unhealthy weight behaviors, such as the use of diet pills, laxatives, vomiting, and skipping meals. Although the girls think this will help them lose weight, ironically, it actually is more likely to contribute to weight gain.

Some women are so upset with their looks, that they are demanding drastic changes to their body through plastic surgery. One woman asked for her belly button to be taken completely off.

How has it gotten so bad that we hate how we look? Models in the 1980s, such as Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell, were regularly a size 4 to 6, however, now, model sizes are 0 to 4. When did a size 6 become fat? We need to embrace ourselves for who we are and what weight we are normally. One study has shown that actually being happy with yourself leads you to be at a healthy, normal weight.

Tracy Tylka, assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University, demonstrated how women who are more comfortable with their bodies are far more likely to follow a healthy eating regimen.

"The message that women often hear is that some degree of body dissatisfaction is healthy because it could help them strive to take care of their bodies. But it may be just the opposite: an appreciation of your body is needed to really adopt better eating habits," Tylka said.

If everyone looked the same, it would be boring. Variety is the spice of life, so let’s live it up!

MEMORANDUM

TO: Laos
COPY: Dallas Fire Department
FROM: Former client
DATE: March 3, 2008
SUBJECT: Your duty


Dear Laos,

Recently, I had the misfortune (I say fortune) to call your station as an emergency arose. My dog, Mudd, fell into a hole in our house that we were remodeling. Being that Mudd is blind and deaf and certainly cannot get out from underneath the house, we had to call your services.

I must say that it was a privilege to see you at work, saving our beloved dog from certain doom. I admired your valor (and strong arms) as you pried up floorboards and hacked your way through darkness while not once showing any fear. (I have to ask, do you work out often?)

After successfully saving part of my family and departing back to the station, I decided I needed to thank you for your undying devotion to the art of saving kittens in trees and dogs under houses. So, I did what any single, hot-blooded, young woman would do. I made you banana bread and delivered it to you the next day, with phone number attached. But this time, you failed me.

I noticed on your Web site that your mission statement says, “Our mission is to prevent and suppress fires, educate and rescue citizens, provide emergency medical services, promote public safety and foster community relations.” However, you failed to do the last one. I know you felt it as much as I did Laos, so why did you not call? Your chiseled features and strong legs, lifting my toy poodle from a hazardous situation; your smile to me when I say we’ll do this again soon; the way you seemed so concerned when you asked what the problem was… *sigh.*

I’m sure the fireman’s code says it is your duty to romance a woman in distress, but yet, I have not heard from you. You came to my house and rescued a damsel/dog in distress, arriving on your big, red steed; wearing your large, princely pants to hide your huge…muscles, but left this princess all alone even after the giving of sacred banana bread.

I feel I must remind you that you have not yet completed your duties, but I shall forgive you once you arrive at my doorstep after reading this memo. I look forward to your speedy return.

Love,
Rita