Self-discovery, growth needed before marriage

I wouldn’t think that something I thought in college would be as prudent as it is today, however, I found something that I wrote that is even more relevant today than it was then.

After a very long day at work, I took a five minute break as an opportunity to google myself. Amazingly enough, I found a few things.

I am quoted on http://www.thinkexist.com/ from an article I wrote in college. And of course, my blogger user profile comes up (there’s not much in there). There’s also a link to my college newspaper.

One of the best things I found was a story I wrote a year and a half ago (this should give you a pretty good idea of who I am):

Self-discovery, growth needed before marriage

Note: I went to school in Manhattan, KS, it’s your typical college town and Aggieville is the bar area.

“As a fifth-year student, I've learned quite a bit and seen a lot happen here in Manhattan. For example, I remember when the old Wal-Mart was where Hobby Lobby is today; I remember when we didn't have a Target, and I can recall when Aggie Station, a former bar in Aggieville, burned down. But the thing that has changed most since I started my education at K-State is the relationship scene.

What has surprised me lately is how everyone seems to talk to only one person and immediately consider himself or herself to be in a relationship. Maybe it is because I am a fifth-year, and many students my age are getting married, but I feel like a lot of students years younger than I am already are in serious relationships.

I have to ask: what happened to casual dating? What ever happened to just having fun and getting to know people? It almost seems now that if you kiss someone or go on a date with someone, you're immediately considered "in a relationship"; and if you're in a relationship, the thoughts and talk of getting married to that person come pretty quickly.

There is no time even to think!In 2002, the Census Bureau reported that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Half! Doesn't that mean we really should take our time and look at the person we think is "the one"? I am pretty sure no one wants to go through the heartache of divorce, so can't we slow down?

Where did casual dating go? I understand some people are fortunate enough to find the person of their dreams and marry him or her while still in college or immediately after.

But we change after we graduate and get a job. It's like the transition from high school to college; there's a huge growth in your maturity. This is the time to figure out what we want in a person with whom we will spend our entire lives, not to mention the time to develop our personalities and get to know ourselves.

"Early marriage is a key predictor of later divorce," the Atlanta Journal Constitution said in 2005. According to the newspaper, the divorce rate drops to 24 percent for people who marry after age 25.

College used to be about having fun (and I don't mean being promiscuous; I mean fun), meeting people and possibly starting a relationship. But when did a kiss become the beginning of a relationship? And when did a relationship become a marriage proposal?

I am 22 years old, and there is no way I am ready for a serious relationship. I've just gotten started with my life.

My favorite thing to do on a casual date is to eat pizza with a guy and watch a movie. If we get along romantically, great. If we don't, then we'll be friends. There'll be no awkward moment when one has to tell the other the frequent 1980s excuse, "It's not you; it's me."

I'm ready to have fun, meet people and learn about myself. Then when the right guy does come along, I'll be ready to fully make that commitment.