The man, the myth, the legend

As an avid music lover and fan of legendary artists, I must write about Bob Dylan. Not just because he’s been having a stellar career for more than five decades; not because his most recent album, Modern Times, topped the album charts at number 1, making him the oldest to head those charts; not because he is a legendary American artist; and not because he’s multi-talented: playing the harmonica, keyboard and guitar. No sir, this man deserves to be written about because, at age 66, he hasn’t stopped touring, he’s still playing and hasn’t lost a beat; and I was there to see it.

I was fortunate enough to go to his concert this past Saturday at the House of Blues in Dallas. As soon as I stepped through the doors to the large concert hall, the smells of something hookah-like filled the entire auditorium. Mix this with people who have traveled miles and paid thousands for tickets to see this legendary man and you have a massive, full-blown hippie party of all ages. All concert halls at the House of Blues are built to seem smaller and more intimate, where people can see the stage from all angles. My seat was located in the balcony, and even though it was higher up than I’d like, I did get a nice view of one of the greatest artists of all time and the music was fantastic. (How could it not be?)

Before Dylan even stepped on stage, the atmosphere in the auditorium was euphoric. Audience members aged from 12 to 60 filled the concert hall’s seats and couldn’t do anything more than have a continual smile and revel in the fact that they were going to see Bob Dylan. As soon as he walked on stage, the entire audience gasped and screamed, all at the same time, creating a cacophony of excitement. He wore his typical black suit and white hat. No introduction was necessary and he immediately began to play.

A few times during the two-hour show, I had to remind myself that I really was seeing Bob Dylan live in concert. The fact that one of the most influential singer and songwriters was performing right in front of me was hard for my brain to fully comprehend. Although he couldn’t sing his songs much anymore, when he spoke the words it seemed as if his voice hadn’t really changed.

When the concert ended, the audience stood and clapped for minutes. After that nothing could really make my night any better, so I went home and listened to some more of his songs. He is incredible, he is amazing, and I want to see him again.

A lot of people can't stand touring but to me it's like breathing. I do it because I'm driven to do it. –Bob Dylan

I've got a heart on

Valentine’s day. No one can escape it. It’s on the radio, on the TV, displayed in restaurants and grocery stores, and on the tip of everyone’s (those that have a significant others) tongue. But what about the rest of us? The ones who choose not to have a valentine (or just can’t seem to find a good one)?

My best friend is not thrilled about Valentine’s day. She claims she’s never had a valentine, and each time this day comes around, she is in a bad mood. She attempted to warn me of the dangers this holiday may bring to our friendship earlier this week.

“Just to let you know, I’ll be in a bad mood Thursday,” she said. “It’s just because of Valentine’s day and the whole couple’s thing.”

“Well, why not treat it like every other day?” I ask.

“Because it’s not like every other day,” She says.

This is true. She has a point. Try as us singles might, it is not just another day. It’s a pink, red, hearts, flowers, box-of-chocolates, singles-awareness, day. Valentine’s day is a lot of things, but nice to singles it’s not. It’s impossible to escape, it’s everywhere.

• More than 61% of the population will celebrate this holiday. That’s more than celebrate Christmas! (about.com)


• Of fresh flower purchases only, Valentine's Day ranks No. 1, capturing 36% of holiday transactions and 40% of dollar volume. Valentine's Day is also the No. 1 holiday for florists. (aboutflowers.com)


• Americans spent as much as 13.7 billion last Valentine's Day 2006. (MSNBC)


• The hottest day to get married in Vegas is on V-day. (Bridesclub.com)


• Valentine's Day is the most popular holiday for text messaging. From February 13th to the 14th, there's a 33% spike in texting traffic. (AT&T)


• Number of condoms used per second in America on Valentine's Day: 87 (LifeStyles Condoms)

Ok, those are all fine and dandy, but here’s the equally awesome, if not more important, statistics for the singles:

• Percentage of women who claim that if their dog was a man, they'd want him as their boyfriend: 34 (American Kennel Club)


• Percentage of married mothers who'd rather spend Valentine's Day alone than with their husbands: 51 (Momjunction.com)


• Number of single men (either never married, widowed or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages: 120 (Families and Living Arrangements: 2006)


• One of the most romantic countries in the world, Italy, does not celebrate Valentine’s Day.

That should make us singles feel a bit better. And, at least we don’t have to rush around like crazy looking for a place to make reservations, get cards, save for presents, get presents, decide if we even want to be with said other on that day, etc.

And think about it, this is the BEST time to go out and have a night on the town. What better night to find singles than go out on international date night?

One of the most interesting things I’ve found in my research of Valentine haters, is a blogger, Leigh Orf, who shares with us what we can do to get even, http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~norm/love.html. My favorite is listed below:

“Upon coming in contact with aforementioned amorous starry-eyed couples, proceed to exclaim loudly to either one, "Why didn't you call me! You told me our passionate night together was only the beginning?! Who the hell is *this* cretin? Don't you know that s/he could never love you like I can?! You're coming with *me*!" Etc., ad nauseum. Be very animated, and feel free to physically get in between these two clueless sots. To be especially effective, do your research ahead of time and seek out certain couples. Learn their names, their habits and lifestyles, and capitalize on this. By ruining their holiday of love together, you will be adding them to the ranks of bitter V.D. malcontents.”

Still not feeling better? There’s a web site devoted to people who absolutely hate Valentine’s day: http://www.antivday.com/.

Self-discovery, growth needed before marriage

I wouldn’t think that something I thought in college would be as prudent as it is today, however, I found something that I wrote that is even more relevant today than it was then.

After a very long day at work, I took a five minute break as an opportunity to google myself. Amazingly enough, I found a few things.

I am quoted on http://www.thinkexist.com/ from an article I wrote in college. And of course, my blogger user profile comes up (there’s not much in there). There’s also a link to my college newspaper.

One of the best things I found was a story I wrote a year and a half ago (this should give you a pretty good idea of who I am):

Self-discovery, growth needed before marriage

Note: I went to school in Manhattan, KS, it’s your typical college town and Aggieville is the bar area.

“As a fifth-year student, I've learned quite a bit and seen a lot happen here in Manhattan. For example, I remember when the old Wal-Mart was where Hobby Lobby is today; I remember when we didn't have a Target, and I can recall when Aggie Station, a former bar in Aggieville, burned down. But the thing that has changed most since I started my education at K-State is the relationship scene.

What has surprised me lately is how everyone seems to talk to only one person and immediately consider himself or herself to be in a relationship. Maybe it is because I am a fifth-year, and many students my age are getting married, but I feel like a lot of students years younger than I am already are in serious relationships.

I have to ask: what happened to casual dating? What ever happened to just having fun and getting to know people? It almost seems now that if you kiss someone or go on a date with someone, you're immediately considered "in a relationship"; and if you're in a relationship, the thoughts and talk of getting married to that person come pretty quickly.

There is no time even to think!In 2002, the Census Bureau reported that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Half! Doesn't that mean we really should take our time and look at the person we think is "the one"? I am pretty sure no one wants to go through the heartache of divorce, so can't we slow down?

Where did casual dating go? I understand some people are fortunate enough to find the person of their dreams and marry him or her while still in college or immediately after.

But we change after we graduate and get a job. It's like the transition from high school to college; there's a huge growth in your maturity. This is the time to figure out what we want in a person with whom we will spend our entire lives, not to mention the time to develop our personalities and get to know ourselves.

"Early marriage is a key predictor of later divorce," the Atlanta Journal Constitution said in 2005. According to the newspaper, the divorce rate drops to 24 percent for people who marry after age 25.

College used to be about having fun (and I don't mean being promiscuous; I mean fun), meeting people and possibly starting a relationship. But when did a kiss become the beginning of a relationship? And when did a relationship become a marriage proposal?

I am 22 years old, and there is no way I am ready for a serious relationship. I've just gotten started with my life.

My favorite thing to do on a casual date is to eat pizza with a guy and watch a movie. If we get along romantically, great. If we don't, then we'll be friends. There'll be no awkward moment when one has to tell the other the frequent 1980s excuse, "It's not you; it's me."

I'm ready to have fun, meet people and learn about myself. Then when the right guy does come along, I'll be ready to fully make that commitment.

Top 5 Superbowl ads

Ah yes, the Superbowl. Happy times for football fans and even happier times for advertising executives. The likes of J. Walter Thompson, GSD&M and all advertising companies have done it again and produced another successful, and entertaining, showing of advertisements.

The realm of commercials stretched from disgusting (Careerbuilder.com) to classic (Coca-cola – “It’s mine”); off the wall imaginatives (Vitaminwater - “Horsin’ Around with Shaq”) to Superbowl commercial staples (Budweiser). The one thing all these commercials tried to hit, besides advertising their product, was being funny. These ones achieved both.

Top 5 Superbowl commercials:

1. E*Trade banking baby – this one is definitely the best this year. Much more advanced than the previous dancing baby from the 90’s, this one actually keeps your attention and appeals to the masses (and the computer animation is a lot better). It also gets the point across that anyone can do E*trading.

2. Tide - “Silence the Stain” – as a messy someone who has applied for jobs and been on an interview, this commercial really hit home for me. This ad helps to solidify what you think of when you see a stain on your clothes: I need the Tide stick so my stain doesn’t scream at my future employer.

3. Diet Pepsi Max – “Nod” – the beginning of this commercial is great: Troy Aikman is speaking to his sleepy co-anchor, who slowly begins to dose off and hits the microphone with his head. Troy’s face: Priceless. The amount of cameos alone in this commercial makes a general audience member pay attention even if they don’t like Pepsi (for the record, I don’t). It’s a simple commercial that has a pretty clear answer.

4. Bridgestone – “Scream” – this puts a squirrel into human perspective. I mean, I would definitely scream if a car was going to run me over. The kicker is all the other animals screaming, too. Even the little cricket. What makes an audience pay attention more than a talking baby? Talking animals. In a time where environmental issues are huge, using expensive, road-gripping tires to save a squirrel ranks right up there.

5. Budweiser – “Clydesdale Team,” “Jackie Moon” –Budweiser is definitely one of the top Superbowl commercial advertisers (remember the frogs?) and I must include them in the top five, not only because every year they deliver a decent commercial, but a few different commercials, each one as equally funny and imaginative.

Disagree? Youtube is letting you vote for which game day commercials you deem best. Go to http://www.youtube.com/adblitz.

A breakthrough

I need to write today. It’s just one of those days when you get up and say, yeah, I need to write. On those days, you know it’s going to be about feelings.

I made a breakthrough last night. I know that’s a pretty strong statement, but I did. More than a year and a half ago my boyfriend and I broke up in a very bad breakup. It wasn’t pretty, and I’m still not sure if I’m entirely over it (yes, sometimes it takes that long), but I’m more than halfway there.

Last night, I went through things from my desk in college. In among the binders, folders and pencils were pictures and notes from that relationship that I had hidden from myself when we had broken up. I managed to look through those pictures, read those notes and feel…fine. I was absolutely fine.

Amazed with myself, I went to the kitchen and made chocolate chip cookies.

I guess the point that I am making here is that I am finally moving on. And I’m proud of myself.

I posted today the beginning of a story I had written about him and I. I never finished the story because every time I started to write, I’d cry, but now, now I think I can finally finish that story.

Unnamed

You know how there’s always one memory you carry around with you from a relationship? That one good memory that no one else can even come close to recreating?

I’ll never forget ours.
I’ll never forget him.

He once told me, in the very beginning, that he never regretted any relationship he had ever had, because you could always learn something from them. He was right.

I learned more than he’ll ever know.

****

I never thought that I would become a statistic. I never thought I’d ever do some of the things I’ve done in the past year, but I did.

Whenever someone tells you a story about something they did, it is true that you, the listener, might act differently…or exactly the same way…but you’ll never know until it happens to you.

No one knows until it happens.

****

I met him at our college football game. It wasn’t a thing where I was immediately attracted to him or there was a jolt of lightening, but I did enjoy talking with him. He didn’t call until two weeks later and by then, I had forgotten who he was. It took me a second to realize who was inviting me to an October party at their house.

He was two years younger, and if I hadn’t gone to that party and stayed at the university bars where he wasn’t old enough to go, I’m sure my life would have been drastically different than it is now.

But I went.

I brought my friend with me.
I flirted.
Then he kissed me. In the most freshman way possible, by pushing me into another empty room of the house, playfully taking my hands and pulling me towards him. To be honest I didn’t really see it coming at all. And that’s when it began.

****

After that party, he and I saw each other every day. Our first date was two days later, on a Tuesday, and we went to a chain restaurant. It wasn’t anything fancy, but he seemed so much more mature then guys my own age. For one thing, he actually listened and wanted to know about me.

Each kiss was incredible.
Each touch was amazing.
And every time I saw him, I was proud to have him as mine.

Within the first week, I met his friends, he met my friends and he met my parents. It must have seemed fast to the people on the outside, but it felt just right to us.

I do have to stop here and say that I was very scared. I had gotten out of a relationship a year before, and my head was very guarded, but my heart wasn’t. Looking back, I think my heart and my head fought against each other about my relationship with him from the beginning to the end.

My heart wanted to find love.

My head said I wasn’t ready.

Anyway, he and I began to know more and more about each other, both physically and mentally. I remember once he said that he needed to make up a word to describe me because ‘gorgeous’ and ‘perfect’ weren’t enough. He said sweet things like that often. And they weren’t lines either, they were purely and simply his thoughts.

We became the couple that’s talked about. His friends were happy he had me and told me this. My friends said that there was such a difference about him; he actually cared.

Soon it became ‘we’ are going somewhere and ‘we’ are doing something. I was always included in everything he did and he was always included in everything I did. There was no more ‘him’ and ‘me’; there was just ‘we.’

And we were perfect.

I told him things I never told anyone, and he did the same.

Sure we’d have a few fights every now and then, but it always worked out. Mostly because he actually wanted to know what we were mad about and how we could fix it. He was a very good listener. He always considered us equals.

****

Since I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I had already started to have the mindset that a job was fast approaching and employers were looking at what I was doing.

I worked hard at my college career. I was a strong woman. I had a 4.0 GPA; I was the founder and president of two clubs on campus, held the public relations leadership position in another club and managed to do individual public relations consulting and campaigns for clients around town. I’d also had two internships, but I wanted one more.

I had been looking at internships close to where he lived, and would be living for the summer, but I was also looking at one place in particular that wasn’t where he lived. In May I was offered two internships: one where he lived and one where he didn’t. I chose the one where he didn’t. Around this time, things started to change.

****

We started having big fights. I can’t say that I blame him for most of those, in fact I blame me. Like I said before, my heart and head were in a constant battle. My head was trying to figure out ways to get out of a relationship and my heart wanted to be in love.

He said he wasn’t upset with me for choosing the other internship in the other city, but eventually, towards the end, he told me that he was.

We moved away from each other at the end of May; him to his city and me to mine. We were only three hours apart, but apparently three hours can be an entire world.

We still saw each other every weekend, but something changed. He was now back at home with his close high school friends, reliving times he had with them for much longer than he’d had with me, and I was forgotten…almost.

Meanwhile, I was starting my new internship, with a desk and computer and another intern. I worked hard and soon my internship became one of the only things I could talk about. It was stressful, fun and interesting. I would try to tell him about my day, or have him help me with a work-related problem and at the beginning of the summer he listened, but by the end of the summer, he’d find a way to get off the phone.

I never heard much about his days, although he would say that I never asked, but when I did ask, he would never tell me much. I guess he was back where he was supposed to be and now I was a foreign entity.

We were in a relationship, but we weren’t. It’s cliché to say it, but it was a shell; almost completely empty inside.

****

We ended up almost breaking up three times that summer, but each time we couldn’t let go. Close to the end of my internship, and close to my birthday, he came to my apartment in my city and gave me a diamond necklace. The first he had ever given a girl, and it was perfect.

Even though things had not been going well, we still wanted to hold up the illusion, for ourselves as well as others; that we were meant for each other.

However, our communication between the two cities that summer faltered and by the end of July he was the last to hear about any news that I had and I was the last to hear his.

I remember asking him, and trying so hard, to get him to speak to me more, to get him to communicate so we wouldn’t lose what we had. He always said the same thing.
“I don’t like talking on the phone.”

That’s where we lost the ‘we’ and became ‘him’ and ‘I’ again.

****

I think we both knew it, as most couples know that we were going downhill. We were almost to the end. But like most couples, we refused to admit it.


We came back to school after that summer and both thought that maybe we were just in a phase. Maybe we had had problems because we had been far apart from each other and moving back to within walking distance of each other would fix it.

I tried, but he didn’t.
I wanted to be ‘we’ again, and he couldn’t stop being ‘him.’ I even spoke with him, the good listener, about the way I felt and he said he would fix it.

At one point, he put a bouquet of roses in my apartment while I was out with a girlfriend. When my girlfriend and I came home, I was so stunned we literally sat, sipping wine, staring at the roses. I had become fed up with being taken for granted for so long and I wasn’t sure roses were going to fix that.

I slept alone that night.
I didn’t call him and thank him for the flowers.
I didn’t know how to react.

We spoke about it the next day and I told him I need to be a priority in his life, I was tired of being taken for granted, and I needed him to need me.

Maybe he tried, but he was so used to being ‘him’ from the summer that I was no longer a priority.